Area Student Caught Plagiarizing

Vienna, VA, A local woman was discovered to be a big fat unoriginal cheater today. Olivia Bilby, 24 asked her twin sister to edit her paper for her. Little did her twin know, that Olivia would use all of her margin comments verbatim in the final paper. While flattered that her sister found her input to be so incisive Orianna had this to say; "Two of those sentences are like flat out mine. I don't see how she can honestly claim credit for that work. She should just put my name on it."

Olivia could not be reached for a comment. She was too busy turning in someone else's work with her name at the top.

RIP

Peter Boyle died yesterday. He was only 71, that seems really young.

Robots and PVC Pipes

I spent an hour and a half getting into work today; a drive that usually takes me 10 - 15 minutes. By the time I decided to switch to the radio and find out why traffic was being so gay to me, I was well on my way to getting lost in the freaky McLean, VA neighborhoods--filled to the brim with apartment complexes and a distinct absence of actual single family homes--that surround the Tysons Corner Mall in a little semi-circle. To be honest though, I'm not terribly shocked that they shut down 123 and some of the interstate because of a mysterious looking package. I'm also not surprised that they called in the bomb squad and a nifty bomb detecting robot to discover the contents of the package. I really just wanted to share my horrible journey into work today :). Here's the story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16074057/

Help me Mr. Senator!

I think this is an appropriate follow up to Celeste's blog about her delicious fried chicken. New York has passed their trans fat ban.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16051436/

All restaurants in New York are required to switch to a healthier alternative by 2008. So, Celeste, in 2008 you could probably truthfully say that your fried chicken is better than any fried chicken you could get in New York. Assuming VA hasn't banned the sale of Crisco by then. It's good to know our politicians are looking out for us. I am frankly baffled that this is what they choose to ban after banning smoking. Why not ban the sale of alcohol in restaurants? That's bad for you . . . and it kills people. I can already see the furtive back alley meetings between the members of Overeater's Anonymous. "Yo man, you got any oreos, I'm fucking dying here man!"

A Culinary Triumph!

Forgive me if I can't recall which of you (Livvy or Anna) got me that Lodge chicken fryer, but oh boy oh boy do you guys have to come over and let me make traditional southern pan-fried chicken for you in it.

I tried making real pan-fried chicken for the first time on Friday night, and I still salivate every time I think of how good it tasted. The skin came out crunchy and a lovely dark golden brown, and the meat was so deliciously juicy and tender inside, I ate until I thought I would pop. It was amazing! Thanks for that fryer, guys!

It's Just around the Corner!

Ok everybody. Christmas is just around the corner, so email me your Dear Santa letters so that I can start buying presents. OLBilby@gmail.com. :)

HOO-RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not a certainty yet, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to win 5 dollars from Lissa next Fall. We had a little bet going that the totally fantastic television show Men In Trees wouldn't make it to a second season. I bet that it would, but Lissa has little faith and/or bad taste in television since she doesn't think it will do all that well, but whichever. My reasoning behind the bet was because the show is soooo friggin' awesome, due to its comedic romantic plotlines, which I love, but Lissa thought it would fail because it was a Friday night show and that in itself would make it unpopular. However, Men In Trees is moving to THURSDAY nights beginning November 30. This mean that--and I'm sad to say--they will probably be cancelling Six Degrees, another show that I was watching and liked relatively well, but not nearly as much as the show that will replace it; I'm not too dissappointed about it, especially because the line up will be Ugly Betty (one of my new favorite shows), Grey's Anatomy (another one of my favorites) and then of course, Men In Trees. What a fantastic night Thursdays will be :). But yeah...be prepared to pay up Lissa...cause a year from now, I guarantee that you'll owe me 5 dollars. HOO-RAH!!!

http://tinyurl.com/vy6zo

Army Strong

Army has changed their advertising campaign. I don't like it. I remember reading about the proposed change earlier this year. I didn't like it then either. Now that I've seen how they actually plan to convey their new incredibly succint message . . . I like it even less. The ads that are running go something like this;

Learning to stand up for yourself? That's strong. Learning to stand up for your country? That's Army Strong!

I remember the Army jingle from when I was growing up "Be all that you can be . . . in the ARMY!!!" It was cute, it was catchy, it was--if i remember correctly--iconic. Then sometime during my highschool years they changed it to "The Army of One". While I thought the ads were pretty good, I still missed the jingle.

Now, not only is there no jingle, but the slogan is . . . not even a slogan. Army Strong? Who else pictures some neanderthal thumping their chest and declaring, "Army! Strong!"? Now I am reminded of the excellent Buffy episode "Beer Good!", for which the tv spots probably went something like this; "Learning to have a one night stand? That's good! Learning to have a one night stand and not moon over the guy like an idiot and drag down the beginning of the season? That's Beer Good!"

I lost my train of thought.

Mark Your Calendars!

Last night was a red letter day for me! For the first time since Roy was born 7 months ago, Russ changed a poopy diaper!

Welcome Our New Speaker of the House

No sulking on my end, although I will say that I feel that it was not so much that the democrats deserved to win, but that the republicans richly deserved to lose.

Let the circus begin, since our prospective new speaker has been promising all sorts of investigations and hearings:


Photo stolen shamelessly from HotAir

Maybe when the republicans remember why they were put in the majority in the first place - democrat over-spending, corruption, immigration, high taxes, bloated and intrusive government - republicans will win again.

Like it was some kind of secret . . .

Neil Patrick Harris has officially come out of the closet following recent 
speculation regarding his sexual preference.  Why Doogie?  Why?
http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1554852,00.html 

on a side note, Opera browsers do not like blogger.

Random Comments

The trick-or-treaters that came to our door cracked me up. In particular, since I just hold out the bowl and let the kids pick what they'll take, I found it instructive to note how many pieces of candy each kid took. Girls almost universally took just one piece, said thanks, and left. Boys, when faced with choice - instead of being handed a piece or two of candy - broke down into two groups. The polite ones who said thanks, thrust their chubby fists into the bowl and took off with a couple of pieces, and the imps that thrust both fists into the bowl and would have grabbed all they could carry if I hadn't made them narrow down their selection.

And Roseanne Barr was on My Name Is Earl last night, and I have to say, she's much more attractive as an old lady than I remembered.



Oooh, and I found a write-in candidate for the Allen/Webb race. If you aren't voting for either of them, write in Meryl Yourish.

The Grudge 2

I went to see the Grudge 2 yesterday, and i have to say it didn't dissappoint. There were some reveals that were really good. Granted they were fairly easy to predict and by the end of the movie a tad played out, but I still give the movie points. I have to say that having a grey faced balloon head toddler hiding in the back of someone's hoodie before snatching them away into god knows where, is pretty fucking cool. I might have been more scared if Sonny hadn't been screaming like a little girl for most of the movie. That was the most entertaining part of the evening.




They attached the trailer for another Ghost House Pictures movie; The Messengers. I was pretty excited by this trailer. Some of the visuals are standard Japanese horror fare, but that is probably thanks to the Pang Brothers directing. I haven't seen the Eye yet, but I've been told it was the shit. At any rate, the trailer creeped me out, and I cannot wait to see this.
http://www.worstpreviews.com/review.php?id=22







OOh and I almost forgot--I'm the biggest nerd ever--they also attached the trailer for 'The Return'. This is Sarah Michelle Gellar's next horror vehicle. When I first heard about it, I was kind of 'meh . . . typecast much. Broaden your horizons blondie' but after seeing the trailer I've changed my mind. She's a brunette in this one guys! It actually doesn't look bad either http://www.worstpreviews.com/review.php?id=305

Anna-Out!

Bless You, NBC

Woo hoo! Our new DVR still has some bugs in it to work out, and as a consequence, for some reason Heroes was never picked up last night.

But not to worry, NBC has the full episode available online. Wasn't that nice?

Theater of the Absurd

The political silly season has reached new heights lately, leaving me wishing I lived in Maryland simply because Steele is so much more an attractive candidate than Allen or Webb. Sheesh these guys need to grow up, and it's leaving me debating taking the time and trouble to load the baby up into the car so I can go vote. I'm tempted to just write "neither, they both suck" if there's a write-in place on the ballot.

Wolfe lost my vote as well. I've written him a couple of times in the past, and previously my letters were complimentary, congratulating him on some vote or other. I always received a nice, only semi-form-letter reply, within a week. The last letter I wrote him was to complain about his vote on the pork transparency bill, and the republican party's insistence on pushing distraction issues such as gay marriage and online gambling, over red-meat issues like taxes and illegal immigration. Mind you, this is a letter coming from one of his constituents, less than two months before an election. Silence is the response I've gotten. Well between the b.s. pork transparency vote (the bill passed, and he just looked like a pork-loving jackass for voting against it), and his lack of response, I'm voting for a third-party candidate. It's just a tossup between the optician and the CACI guy.

We need a real third-party. One that doesn't exist on the fringes on the issues, like the greens or the libertarians, but instead behaves in a sensible manner. Both major parties seem to have lost their focus. The dems are spending all of their energy attacking a lame duck president with a vice president who won't be running. The republicans have gotten as insane as the dems, and these days the only thing they stand up for is senate privilege, be it for freezers full of cash, and the right for a congressmen to be free from search even with a legal warrant, or the right to hit on teenage pages. They're too busy voting to make on-line gambling illegal, and baiting gays, and jailing bong retailers, to bother doing anything important or useful.

What happened to making the tax cuts permanent? What happened to fixing social security? What happened to strong borders? What happened to respect for state's rights?

If I don't vote this year, it won't because I don't believe my vote won't count; it will be because I believe it will, and I can't stand to pull the lever for anyone on the ballot.

Priceless!!

It's rare that you get a shot that makes you burst out laughing when you check it in the camera, but this is what I got when I was taking pictures of Roy learning how to play with the cats.

This is now my favorite picture of Roy.

Flash sure is being a good sport, isn't she?

6 MONTHS--SMOKE FREE

Just thought I'd share that as of today, I have not had a cigarette in 6 months. It was surprisingly easy after month one, and I'm extremely proud of myself. Hoo-RAH!!!!

P.S. I'm the camel in the picture. Yup! That's me!! COOOL JOE CAMEL.

Tequila! Makes you and your food interesting!

It was requested that I post the marinade recipes for the 'scrumdiliumptious' fajitas that I made for Celeste's par-tay! . I should tell you that I used pretty much the first thing google spit out when I typed in fajita recipes.

Beef Fajita Marinade III

• 1 cup red wine vinegar
• 1/2 cup tequila
• 1/3 cup canola oil
• 1/3 cup fresh lime juice
• 4 large garlic cloves, crushed
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 3 fresh jalapeños, stems and seeds removed, minced
• 1 tablespoon minced fresh cilantro
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 to 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves (preferably Mexican oregano)
• 1 teaspoon lemon pepper
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• salt to taste

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Pour marinade over meat in shallow glass, plastic or other non-reactive container (a 1-gallon plastic zip-top bag works well). Refrigerate overnight or up to 24 hours.

Makes enough to marinate 2-1/2 to 3 pounds flank steak (6 generous servings).

I also used

Chicken Fajita Marinade

• 1/4 cup beer (not lite beer)
• 1/3 cup fresh lime juice
• 1 tablespoon olive or canola oil
• 2 large garlic cloves, crushed
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon minced fresh cilantro
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• salt to taste

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Pour marinade over chicken in shallow glass, plastic or other non-reactive container (a 1-gallon plastic zip-top bag works well). Refrigerate for 1 to 3 hours.

Makes enough for 1 to 1-1/2 pounds of chicken (4 servings). This is from the same website.

It helps if you add a personal touch. I went with a little bit of pee. So funny that no one noticed!

The Pico de Gallo was the best part in my opinion.

Pico de Gallo I

• 2 large ripe tomatoes, seeded, pulp removed, finely chopped
• 1 medium white onion, finely chopped
• 2 large cloves garlic, minced
• 2/3 cup cucumber, peeled, seeded, finely diced
• 5 radishes, finely diced
• 2 tablespoons minced cilantro leaves
• 3 or 4 fresh serrano chiles, seeded, very finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
• salt to taste

Mix tomatoes, onion, garlic, cucumber, radishes, cilantro, chiles and vinegar. Sprinkle lime juice over all. Add salt to taste.

Best if refrigerated, covered, for at least 1 hour, and served the same day made. Makes about 3 cups. Also you might want to consider spitting in it, just to mix things up ;-)

All of these recipes were used without permission from

from http://www.texascooking.com/features/feb98fajitas.htm

Very good! Highly recommended! Tell your friends.

Thanks Guys!

Wow. I had such a great birthday, and it was because I have such great sisters.

Anna (and Livvy (and Russ!)), the dinner was fantastic! I'm disappointed you didn't leave any of it behind, although I had some of that tasty chocolate cake for breakfast this morning. And it sure was nice to stumble into the kitchen this morning to make the baby's cereal and some coffee, to find that the kitchen was nice and clean, and the dishes were done. Make sure you post the recipe for that marinade, it was scrumdiliumptious. I hope you guys made it home okay, and I hope Sonny enjoyed himself. I was glad he came out for the party.

Livvy, you did such a good job wearing Roy out he slept til 830 this morning. Which means I got to sleep til 830 this morning. Rock on!

Lissa, I hope you didn't miss your flight back, and you weren't too hungover when you woke up. I'm so glad you came up for my birthday, and I'll make sure I get your movies returned today. I can't wait til you and Mike come back up for Christmas.

It was so nice having all of my sisters together for my birthday party. You guys are the best! Love you all!

This is the best ever picture of Anna!!!

I had to share because I love this picture. It's currently my wallpaper on my home computer, but I thought you guys should see it too. I like to call it "Why Anna Isn't A Cat Person." CHEERS!!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTE!!!

I thought you should have a birthday card and I thought this one was perfect. I found it on Hallmark.com (copyright stuffs and all that). HOO-RAH!!!

HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY CELESTE!!!! I hope you have a meow-tastic day!!!

Love,
Livvy

Mystery Resolved

Okay.... one of life's teeny tiny mysteries, that's been bugging me and Russ for ages, was the varying packaging on Klondike Vanilla Ice Cream Bars. We buy a lot of boxes of Big Bears, and we kept noticing that sometimes, we'd get packages that had opaque white wrappers, and sometimes we'd get packages that had clear wrappers. The clear wrappers almost invariably sucked. The ice cream bar would be kind of stale and just not as good.

So, being the good consumerist that I am, last week, I sent an email to the Unilever company (they own Klondike brand) asking them exactly what was up with the packaging. Wouldn't you know it, but I got a letter in the mail today, giving me an actual answer! The white wrappers are their new wrappers going forward, and the clear ones are from older product. Mystery solved! And I have two coupons for a free box of klondike big bears as well.

Thanks for being a responsive corporation, Unilever!

Say Uncle!

We do.

The house has been on the market long enough, and we've gotten no love. The holidays are coming up. We have people coming to visit. I have grown to fucking hate that stupid sign in our yard.

So the house is coming off the market. We'll make some changes, and try again next year.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

10K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooo, me and Melissa signed up to run a 10K on December 10th. I'm super excited about it. I get a tshirt and bells to attach to my shoe laces during the run. It's the Jingle All the Way 10K run that Acumen and someone else puts together each year. I think the funds go towards education or what not. So it's for a good cause. Anywho, we started our training yesterday, which basically coincides with my regular workout schedule, so it shouldn't eat up any more of the time I don't really have, and we both ran 2.5 miles in 27 1/2 minutes (Melissa finished a few seconds before me). I think our times are fantastic. Anna ran with us and she finished her 2.5 miles in 32 minutes, which is also fantastic, especially considering that me and melissa have like a combined average of 5 - 6 months of running experience on her. We went down to some highschool and ran around their track, specifically so that we could time ourselves. It was cute because there were a whole bunch of little guys (children around 5 or 6 maybe?) running around and playing football. I think they were in little league teams. But, they saw us running around the track and would ask their parents if they could run too. So the kids would sprint off down the track and then topple over from exhaustion after a quarter mile or something. Kids are silly...

Next year we plan to run the 10 mile Cherry Blossom run in April, which should also be fun, but harder cause it's 10 miles instead of 6.2. But, we'll also get another free t-shirt :). Seriously, I don't think I'd sign up for this stuff if I didn't get the shirt.

So yeah...just thought I'd share!

Frakking Awesome!

The season premiere of Battlestar Galactica was last night. It was so good I'm left at a loss for words as to how to describe its fantastic-ness. Heroes was amazing. Jericho is really drawing me in. But Battlestar blew them both away. It helps that it's in its 3rd season now, and has a wealth of backstory to draw from, and it does (draw from the backstory, I mean).

But here is a space opera that makes all of the other space operas look trite and chintzy by comparison. It doesn't flinch away from sensitive subjects, nor does it draw clear lines of distinction between the good guys and the bad guys, and the players on each side shift. Russ and I stayed up a full two hours after the baby finally went to sleep in order to watch it. That's two hours of precious sleep that I gave up because I couldn't stomach the thought of waiting until the next morning to see it.

So... I have all of the previous episodes on DVD. Who wants to do a series of Battlestar Galactica marathons on Saturdays over the next several weeks?

Oh, and it was just too cute, how they worked in 'frakking' on the season premiere of Veronica Mars.

BIRTHDAY!! BIRTHDAY!! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Yoo-Hoo!!! Bilby Girls!!! Somebody's birthday is coming up and I would like to know what said person wants to do for it! This is you Celeste :). How did you want to celebrate your Birthday?

Speed Demon

So I just started the patch this morning. For those of you who are familiar with the patch's adverse affects, you might know that it can make it very difficult to focus. As a result my morning commute was a little fuzzy. So I was really really upset when I look into my rearview to see flashing blue lights. I mean god dammit, I always notice cops first! So I pull over like a good little girl. I make sure that my engine is off, my keys are in my lap and my foot is off the brake. I also have my driver's license and my registration ready. I read somewhere that doing all this will make the cop like you. Take note, apparently it will get you in their good graces. Instant cooperation and all that.

When he strolls up to my window he tells me I was doing 85 in a 55. Good God! I'm not so surprised I was going that fast, I'm mostly surprised that he clocked me at that speed while I was changing lanes to get to my exit. I cannot usually maintain that kind of speed when I'm getting over to the right. Well I guess today traffic was light enough that I could. Go figure.

For those of you familiar with the law, 20 over the speed limit is reckless. I can only assume that 30 over is somewhere along the lines of driving with intent to kill. Normally I would have had a little panic attack while he was in his cruiser writing me up. Thanks however, to the patch I found it easy to remain calm . . . or apathetic . . . whatever.

Ok lack of focus and increased apathy makes me want to get to my point. So long story short . . .
I GOT OFF WITH A WARNING BITCHES!!!!! HELLS YEAH!!!

P.S. I got made fun of when I put that ARMY sticker on my car, but the officer totally thought I was military (he asked and I put him straight, I'm not a liar). That might have helped me out a little. *happy dance*

Because I Can't Resist One More

Is this one of his daddy's faces, or what?

argh! All right, two more... sorry, Russ took some really great shots last night and I just can't help myself:

I think he's trying to warn the cats away from his play-yard.
They keep trying to nap on it.

I Did Not Drop Him

For all his limbs are sprawled about in the picture below, this is not Roy after I've dropped him on the floor. This is Roy vigorously trying to roll over.


He can roll in one direction all the way across the living room floor now. He just hasn't figured out how to go the other way. Yep, he's my little Zoolander!

When You're Learning To Crawl...

... you've gotta have a goal to reach for.

Ahem

Just a small, but completely self-promotional post to let you guys know that I've been updating my wishlist on Amazon just in time for my birthday.

Jericho

I missed the first episode, but picked up the second episode. This appears to be the ideal drama for paranoid me. A bunch of people trying to survive after a nuclear attack, what could be better?

Well, Heroes could be better, but Jericho is plenty exicting, too. Enough so that when the DVR announced a conflict between Jericho and Bones, I promptly canceled Bones.

.. and on a side note, either Livvy or Anna needs to come by and visit with their nephew this weekend. They may bring a friend, and expect dinner. They just have to ping me tomorrow and let me know who, when, etc.

... and I quote "Boo Freaking Hoo"

The Washington Post has an article up today about how states and counties are starting to enforce immigration laws. As per usual, the reporter supplies a "sympathetic" person for the story, the poor illegal immigrant caught up in this vicious and racist program. This is the best they can do?

Among those snared earlier this month was Guadalupe Lara, an 18-year-old Mexican carpenter.

The fifth of eight children born to farmworkers in Queretaro, he walked across the border when he was 16 to find work. Two years later, he has only a wispy beard and stands 5-foot-3.

He makes $7.50 an hour and lives with four others in a small, sparsely furnished apartment. Though they lack beds, they have a television on which Lara watches his favorite telenovela, "Heridas de Amor." He sends money home monthly and calls home every week.

"It's difficult," he said in Spanish. "When I call they say 'How are you?' I say 'I am fine.' " On Monday night, Lara was pulled over by police after buying a pack of cigarettes. He was not drunk but had an open bottle of beer in the car. He also lacked a license. He was arrested and when asked admitted he had no papers.

So this guy was driving without a license, with an open container of beer, under age, and in the country illegally, and we're supposed to feel sorry for him? Sheesh.

HEROES

Uhm...I just wanted to say, that if you didn't watch "Heroes" tonight, then YOU TOTALLY MISSED OUT. That show was fucking AWESOME. I just finished it (dvr--I love it), and seriously, I had the shivers the entire show. My eyes are still bugging out of my head. BEST SHOW EVER!!!! Well, the pilot was anyways. I'll save it in case anyone missed it. Let me know!!! CAUSE IT ROCKED!!!!

Little Victories!!!

Hmmm. I wanted to get this documented and spread around before I forgot about it.

I BEAT NICK IN SCRABBLE!!!!

The score was 163 to 170 and the entire game Nick was in the lead. I had to listen to him boast about how he always won, and how he had been known to stop games of Scrabble due to his incredible board strategy. And then...when we were down to the last letters, I pushed ahead and came out on top. HUGE!

And I just thought that you all would want to know that!!!!

CHEERS!!

Not much to say except I HATE IT!!!

I HATE IT!!!

I'm sorry, but this is starting to piss me off. It's not attractive and I'm insanely confused as to why this particular fashion is even coming back into style! Not to mention, most women can't even pull it off because it's horribly unflattering. Even the model in this picture, looks ridiculous. Her hips extend farther out than the waistband of her jeans!!!! Why, they are using this picture as an advertisement is beyond me. It's just plain ugly.

So, that is all I have to say about that.

Area Woman Disappears Once Wed

Police are on the lookout for Alicia Salanick, formerly Alicia Bilby. She was last seen making a run for it with an armload of wedding presents, and has not been heard from nor seen since. Reached for comment, her sisters expressed bewilderment and confusion over the complete lack of word from Alicia since she returned from her honeymoon.

"It's like she forgot she has sisters," said Olivia, one of Alicia's abandoned sisters. "The twit hasn't even bothered posting a link to the wedding pictures she had taken. She gave it to dad, but couldn't be troubled to let us know."

"She was in such a rush to leave us all behind, she didn't even bother getting her wedding cake out of my freezer," said Celeste. "I'm thinking of feeding it to the cats. That'll show her!"

"Eh, who cares?" said Orianna. "If she isn't gonna take the time to even post on the blog she created so that we could all ostensibly keep in touch, she can just bite me. I've got my other sisters at least."

Alicia's sisters are requesting that you kick her in the shins if you actually get lucky enough to spot the elusive bride.

The First Supper

Mark your calendars, girls! Today, September 24, 2006 at 9:30AM, Roy had his very first meal. About two tablespoons of Gerber Rice Cereal mixed with mommy's milk. No spitting up, no icky faces, and no trouble figuring out how to use his tongue to move it to the back of his throat so he could swallow. He ate it all, just like a pro!

The Boobie-Nazis

There have been a spate of recent articles about offended breast-feeding moms being denied their right to breast-feed their child anywhere, at any time. In response they've been organizing mass nurse-ins, where militant breast-feeding moms will all appear at a site that has pissed them off, and proceed to nurse en-masse. That's not nearly as titillating as it might sound, especially considering how many of us are still struggling to lose weight after we've had the kiddo. And honestly, I feel more like a dairy-cow than some sort of fertility goddess when I'm feeding Roy. That doesn't make feeding him any less satisfying, but so is taking a good shit, and I'm not gonna drop trou in the middle of the store to do that either.

I'm all for the right to feed your child anywhere, and given a choice between letting Roy scream, or plopping down on the floor of a department store and letting other shoppers thread their way around me in the aisle while I feed him, I'll sit on the floor of that store - no matter how dirty it is. But the options are rarely as stark as that. Before I whip out the tit, I'll collar an employee and ask to use a dressing room, or a break room, or the manager's office. I have yet to encounter someone who, when presented with my dilemma, will refuse to find a way to help me out.

So it makes me wonder what compels these women to engage in displays like this. Yes, breast-feeding is natural, and its nothing to be ashamed of. But there's nothing particulary special or impressive about it. And the floor of a store, even if your back is up against a wall, is possibly the least comfortable position I can think of for feeding your child, save standing upright, and in my experience, outside stimuli makes it that much harder for the baby to actually settle down and eat. Not to mention that even as un-sexy as breastfeeding is, there are still creepy types that are going to stare intently at any portion of boob you expose, and as far as I'm concerned, when you feed in front of other people, you take that risk. I can only surmise that the women doing this are making a political statement - and I just don't believe in playing politics with an infant.

Step 3: Profit!

The absolute worst thing about the job is that the marketing and product people never bother to actually fucking plan their shit out. Or, they'll plan it out, but they'll neglect to tell anyone who actually has to implement the plan until the day before. Bastards.

So now Russ has to work until god knows when on a Friday night because the massive mixed-media promotional deal that the company has had in the works for god knows how many months is set to launch, and they only just NOW thought to themselves, "Hmmm, we might actually need some servers for this." Oh come ON! You nitwits have been hyping this promotion as the biggest thing coming for the company for months now, and you only just thought to add server space? My husband (and countless others) gets to work a 16 hour day today because you assholes are too fucking dumb to plan your way out of a walk-in closet.

I feel like I work for a company running the underpants gnomes business plan.

Stolen Thunder

So I was totally planning on blogging about the Covenant, but Livvy yanked the glory rug right out from under me! Thankfully she focused more on the intense homo-eroticism that colored 90% of the scenes. It was like watching a boy band vanity project. For real; there was the bad boy skater, the bad boy biker, the one no one cares about (the Joey Fatone if you will), and the charismatic lead. For those of you who saw Sky High you might remember the charismatic lead as . . . um . . . the boy who had the fire power; antagonist turned ally? Anyone remember his name?

My favorite part of the movie was probably that they played Zombie's "More Human Than Human" over the opening credits. Livvy and I turned to each other and shared a "this movie already kicks so much ass" moment. I was also tickled pink when Livvy turned to me eyes wide and aglitter and chirped "there's a dance too?!" Yes kiddies, there was a dance too. There was also a beautiful (tatted up little tart) blonde who falls into an enchanted sleep. I was not sure why she was there, cause all the male leads were queer, but she was cute to look at.

In summation, this was without a doubt the best movie of the year. I fail to see how anything could possibly top it . . . then again . . . I haven't seen the Dukes of Hazzard sequel yet.

Haircut & Movie

Quick Update: I dyed my hair and got side bangs!!! If you haven't seen it yet, then you'll just have to wait I guess. I don't have any pictures and even if I did, I'm way to busy to upload them to the computer. School and work are sucking up all of my free time. I had to work this weekend and squeeze in class work and exercise...poo poo.

Anywho...CELESTE, way to never respond about going to see the Covenant. It was FAN-FREAKIN'-TASTIC, by the way. So weird though, cause there was more gayness in it that naked girls. The camera guy was obviously in love with the WAY hot guys they got to play the four main characters. Me and Anna LOVED it. It was JUST like one of those teenage novels we like to read. Dad of course thought it was dumb, but that was probably because there was so much gayness in it. There was an entire naked all male locker room / shower scene in the movie AND at one point, I joked to Anna "I bet they're going to kiss now!" AND then they totally did (two guys)!! It was awesome and I totally recommend it to EVERYONE!!!

Anywho, just thought I'd send a quick update on what was up. Hopefully I'll see everyone soon. LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

MSN Messenger is the coolest

MSN Messenger has a feature that allows you to switch between regular typing and "handwriting" mode. I once told a coworker how hilarious it is to be innocently talking to someone and then send a handwritten




He immediately got on it like white on rice. I'm not sure why he wasn't working, but Monday yielded the following masterpieces;

Roy Gets His First Lesson On Sharing

... and he doesn't even have a little sister yet!

Missing Sleep

Being a full-time mommy and a full-time employee is hard. Breast-feeding makes it especially hard. Even if Russ conspires to let me sleep in and wakes up early to make a bottle so baby doesn't wake you up, I still wake up because the absolute maximum time I can go between feedings is 8 hours, and that's only if the baby ate especially well right before he went to sleep. Better to just wake up the baby, feed him myself and hope he goes back to sleep so I can. But by the time the baby's done feeding I'm wide awake and hungry, and I've got so much crap to do I can't go back to sleep... I figure I'll take a nap later in the afternoon. And of course, one thing or another conspires to ensure that almost never happens. I figure of two or three hours of sleep I'm losing each night, I manage to make up for maybe three of them on the weekends.

Juggling work and the baby himself isn't a problem. He naps a lot during the early part of the day, and otherwise has enough toys to amuse himself or is content to sit on my lap and watch the screen on the computer. I'll just run music and sing to him and play with his little toes while I'm waiting for scripts to run, and I try to time my conference calls to when he's either napping, or eating. But the lack of sleep means I'm having trouble concentrating by 5 and I'll frequently start to drift off to sleep any time I sit still for more than 5 minutes by 7. Of course, other than feeding the baby, I don't get much time to sit still after 7 - we still haven't had dinner yet, and I frequently end up sacrificing my lunch break to floor time with the kiddo, so I'm starving by 7. The baby doesn't normally go to sleep until 11 - although we start trying by 9 - so there's a couple of hours before I can go to bed and I'm like the walking dead I'm so tired. I've drifted off to sleep sitting upright on the couch while I'm trying to get Roy to go to sleep, only to wake up at 2 in the morning because Roy wakes up again. The other night, Roy kept waking up, and by the time I finally got him down to sleep, I crawled into bed only to have the alarm go off 5 minutes later.

His one year birthday is going to be a much bigger day for me than it is for him, because I'll finally get to wean him. But despite all the whining about wanting sleep, I am getting this in exchange, so it's totally worth it:

Eat your heart out Alicia Bilby!

So, I know this post is all about me, but I'm like totally excited for myself. Yesterday, I ran a mile in 10 minutes and 15 seconds. I finished up my 2 mile run in 22 minutes and 30 seconds. Isn't that good? I totally couldn't breather afterwards and think that I should probably go to a doctor and get another prescription for albuterol, but aside from that, I think I did really good. Also, I am now able to bench press 50 lbs. I started out at 40, so I am improving overall! YAY! And to top it all off, I think that my ass is looking slightly nicer in jeans - although that could just be a reflection of my vanity. Not sure.

On another note, Nick is getting his very first tattoo on August 19th. It will cover 1/2 - 3/4 of his back. It's a satyre and his brother drew it and it looks totally, friggin' awesome! It won't be completely done until later this year though because Nick will have to sit 2 times to get the whole thing since it's so big, but still...I think I'm more excited about it than Nick is. Or at least I express my excitement more. Anywho, CHEERS!!

I'm a sucker for a pretty face!

Some of you may remember an incident that occurred when I was living with Dad. A cute little teenage boy came to the door raising "points" toward a post graduation trip to Europe. I listened to him for ten minutes getting more and more agitated then finally when I could get a word in edgewise said "If I give you $20 bucks will you go away?" So I did and he did and it was awesome, but not cheap.

I did it again. *sigh*

I was eating lunch (a salad with no less then 1000 cals) when someone knocked on my door. Lo and behold it was an incredibly cute little boy. I say little, but he totally hit on me and he was totally legal and I totally could have hit it, but I didn't so let's not go there. Anyway, after telling me how cool I was no less than three times, taking off his shirt, and expressing shock when I revealed I was single, he left with $54.50. Bright side, if it wasn't a complete scam some little kid shacked up at the Children's Hospital in D.C. will be reading a Disney magazine courtesy of me.

-I didn't take a picture of the little salesman, so instead I'm posting one of me and Alison's little brother. Someone who is also totally adorable and too young for me.

Hanging out with Dad

Last night (Sunday), me and Anna went over to Dad's for dinner and a movie. We saw Miami Vice, which I thought was surprisingly good, despite the fact that there was absolutely no comedic relief what-so-ever throughout the entire movie - except for the scene where Jamie Foxx pretends to prematurely ejaculate during intercourse with his on screen whore, which occurred within the first 20 minutes of the movie. Miami Vice was stock full of drama and very soap operish. I really enjoyed it; I especially enjoyed me and Anna's out of place comments that forced us to cackle, no fewer than 4 times during the movie.

After the movie all three of us went to chipoltle, where me and Dad embarassed Anna by loudly commenting on the queer male with the rose tattoo, clearly visible on his neck, standing in front of us while we were waiting to order. Overall dinner was ok, but I was really annoyed by the loitering teenage males sitting accross from us, with there one female whore (which Dad felt the need to point out to us). But, to make up for it, at the end of dinner Dad declared that he was completely stuffed and then proceeded to chow down on a basket full of chips which he dipped into Anna's left over burrito. Thoroughly shocking, completely surprising and very funny all at the same time. Who ever would have guessed that dad would eat someone else's leftovers?

Although the entire evening was lots of fun, I think the funniest part of the night was before we even left for the movie, when out of the blue, Dad called Anna a "milk toast" because she starts to blubber and cry whenever anyone says anything mean to her! LOL. Anna's overt protesting and refusal to drop the subject in response to this little bit of fact that Dad threw out there, made the comment all that much funnier.

Fiasco

Yesterday was the longest I'd ever been away from Roy. My team had their big install for our launch yesterday, and the CTO got it into her head that the best way to make sure everyone had their full attention on it was to make all of us sit in one big room for the install. It was like one of those japanese dev sweatshops. Something like 30 people stuffed into a conference room with their laptops out.

The install went without a hitch, actually.... it was trying to get around being a breastfeeding mom while I was at the install that was a disaster.

The company has 'mother's rooms' for those of us who aren't trying to feed our babies with formula, and they're actually pretty nice. Curtained booths with comfy chairs, and they even have hospital grade pumps if you have your own accessories for them. The are not, however, set up for visiting employees, and since I was there for only the day, it was a complete mess.

The first time I tried to use the mother's room in CC3, it was no problem. Swung by the receptionist's desk, made sure there wasn't anyone who currently had the room reserved, went upstairs, slipped in and took care of business without a problem. However, two and a half hours later, I needed to go back, and when I returned, I encountered issues. It turns out the mother's rooms are supposed to be kept locked, and it was a fluke that I got in there without a key. So I had to go back to the receptionist's desk and ask for a key.

Problem one: the keys aren't kept with the receptionist, they're signed out permanently, and you have to go over to the fitness center at CC5 to get one. So I walked over to CC5 to see about getting a key. By this time I'd started to leak.

Problem two: the attendant obviously had never had to deal with breastfeeding before, because her first response was "Why don't you just use the locker room?" Well, that would be because I'm not too keen on hooking myself up to a contraption when anyone walking in can see what I'm doing. Breast-pumps are just kind of embarassing, not to mention that I wasn't looking forward to the idea of sitting on a hard bench for half an hour while I did the deed. So I refused, and she agreed to sign a key out to me.

Problem three: she didn't have any keys for CC3. So I asked for, and received a key for CC5. But when I went upstairs in CC5, the key didn't work. Couldn't get the door open, and by this time I was leaking badly, and pretty frustrated. So I went back downstairs, gave the inoperable key back to the attendant and told her to forget it, I'd just go find a huddle room or something. Trudged on back to CC3, and back to the conference room, and asked one of the other women who was working on the install if she knew of any huddle rooms nearby. Her suggestion was that I just use a bathroom stall - obviously, she'd never had to deal with pumping milk either. Like I was going to sit on a toilet with no seat back for half an hour while any woman walking in would get to hear the pump operating and wonder what the hell I was doing, not to mention that's not the most sanitary idea either. By this time I was pretty upset, and it was obvious, so she pointed me to a video editing room that wasn't in use behind the conference room we were staying in. I was leaking badly, humiliated, and nearly in tears, so I slipped into the editing room and tried to do my job. No real luck - wasn't comfortable, and was just so upset, I couldn't really pump.

So I gave up, went outside for a cigarette to calm down, and then said to hell with it and went back into the conference room, praying that install would finish soon enough that I could just go home and feed the baby properly.

Well my boss noticed I was upset, and he took me outside and found out what the problem was, and he handled it for me. Went to the receptionist, got facilities on the phone, and when that didn't work, got security and told them to get the mother's room unlocked. It took two tries, because the twits in security changed shifts, and didn't bother letting the new person on the shift know that I needed to have the room unlocked, but finally, two hours after I'd started looking for a way to get back into the room, they finally got it unlocked for me, and I was able to go in and relieve some of the pain I was in. Did I ever mention how painful engorgement is?

By the time I was done, the install was just about complete, and 15 minutes later we were released and I was able to get back to the truck and just go home. Exhausted, embarrassed, and missing my baby so bad, I was amazed I didn't just lose it in traffic on the way home.

But at least the install went off perfectly, and I wasn't going to have to repeat the process and go back up to Dulles today. And dad and baby did just fine without me, since I had a good supply stocked up in the freezer. I sure was grateful to get home though. Next time I have to go to Dulles, I'm going to make sure they have a key for the mother's room in the building I'll be in waiting for me at reception, and I'm going to refuse to go until they do.

Oh, and did I mention it had been so long since I had been on campus that my badge had expired, and I couldn't get through the front gate without a call to security? What a day.

FUN WITH LISSA AND MIKE IN FL!!!

We all had a fantastic time visiting with Lissa and Mike in Florida. Thanks for putting up with us you two!!!
These pictures are by popular request. ENJOY!!!

This better be the last picture!
Little did they know that it WASN'T!!!

Teaching Mommy A Lesson

Hey Girls.... You wouldn't believe the burn I put on mommy today. She had a really important end to end test demo that she had to do, and it was supposed to start at 11am, and kept on getting pushed back further and further. It was past 3pm before they finally got started. I found that really annoying, so to express my displeasure, I laid in wait and pretended to be napping until mommy was right in the middle of her presentation and then I started screaming.

Ain't I a stinker? I got her good!

You should have seen her scrambling, trying to calm me down and carry on with her dumb old presentation at the same time. I thought her head was going to spin completely around. It was hilarious.

Anyway, I know y'all were just dying to see another shot of me, so here's my latest pose for the camera, from our photo shoot last night. Does the camera just love me or what?

Creative Block!

Sooo. I've decided to write a collection of short stories. I'm at the idea stage right now. It's totally awesome and uhm...I'm awesome for coming up with such a fantastic idea for a collection of short stories; I'm not being self-complimenting either because I'm positive that if you guys knew what my idea was, you'd be complimenting me too. I mean I'm bound to win some kind of hoity-toity prize for my genius. Now all I must do is write the short stories. I've already got the lay-out of the first one done, so I just have to go and add meat to it now.

This is so exciting you guys. Writing is so much fun. But I won't bore you with the details of my phenomenal creative abilities. You'll just have to wait until I'm done to have a clue. Until then I guess! I know you all are shivering with anticipation.

Love,
Livvy

Another Restaurant Meal Lost

You know how I am... If I can make it at home, it's highly unlikely I'll order it when I go out, because I like mine better. I can't even order a steak from Outback any more, because it just doesn't do it for me. I'll normally get their ribs or something instead.

Well knock another menu item off the list of things I order. Last night Russ and I barbecued ribs and they were so good I was still drooling over them half an hour later. They were so yummy even though I was full to bursting, I just couldn't help picking at them for just one more little taste. Rubbed down with brown sugar and spices and then slow cooked on the grill, with a side of sweet potatoes and brocoli smothered in cheddar. Those ribs were fall off the bone tender and juicy. They defined 'finger lickin' good'. It was the best meal I've had in ages. And I had leftover ribs for lunch today as well.

So *thpppt* on your tuna melts. All hail the grill!

Toe Talk

Dear Toe,
I have a crush on this boy at school. He has a girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure that if I offered to give him head he would totally let me. Then with that under my belt I could begin to stalk him and blackmail him into breaking up with her. I was just wondering, what you thought I should wear.
Psycho

Dear Psycho,
I'm a toe. I'm not even a fully functioning toe. Can you not see how purple I am? Clearly there is something wrong with me. As clearly there is also something wrong with you. You don't trick him into letting you provide him oral pleasure. You trick him into saying that he loves you while you ride his man stick in the pool. Then you kill all the people he loves. Hollywood taught me that. In this scenario you wear nothing.
Toe

Can I Get A Witness?

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Russ and I decided to try out our new BabyBjorn carrier by taking Roy on a little walk down to Maureen's house? Well... if I didn't, you can just hear it again anyway.

We took our walk down to Maureen's without bothering to call ahead first to find out if she was home, and sure enough she wasn't. But Dave's car was in the driveway, so we rang the bell anyway, thinking we'd say 'hi'.

No answer. So we continued our walk.

That evening, Maureen called and left a message... seems she'd gotten home, and Dave had immediately started bitching about those damn Witnesses again, and how now they were even being so manipulative as to send out young couples with babies in tow! Maureen had a sneaking suspicion it might have been us, so she called to find out. Sure enough...

So I call her back, and while I'm on the phone with her, Dave is in the background asking "Did those Witnesses stop by their house too?" It took Maureen three tries to get it through to Dave that he hadn't ignored a visit from the Witnesses, he'd refused to answer the door for us.

Well the real Witnesses just stopped by the house to discuss whether or not the world today is in such crappy shape because God wants us to be miserable, and I am now the proud owner of a copy of "The Watchtower" and a copy of "Awake". I'm totally dragging Russ back to Maureen and Dave's to ask them, "If the end of times came tomorrow, would you be ready to meet your maker?"

Cocaine and hookers

So Radley Balko led me to Steven Colbert's "Better Know a District" series, several clips of which are posted on YouTube. These have got to be the funniest political interviews I've ever seen. I woke the baby up several times laughing....

Colbert's Better Know a District... so far I still think the interview with Wexler is still the funniest, just because there's nothing better than hearing a congressman say "I like cocaine because it's a fun thing to do."... But they're all worth watching.

Cheers!

I'm a GIMP

Hello Bilby Family,
I think I broke my toe this morning. I was getting dressed and I snagged the teeniest toe on my left foot against the bed post. I heard a distinct crack and had to sit down cause OWWW!! Right after I fell very dramatically to the floor (I'm an attention whore even when I'm alone) the dog comes over and steps on my foot. She hates me.

Anyway I decided it wasn't broken cause . . . I don't really want it to be. So I smashed it into a sneaker after trying on several pairs of heels and deciding with pained little moans that maybe they weren't the best choice. I figured (since I don't really want it to be broken) that it would stop hurting soon enough, provided I didn't favor it like a little baby. Here's the thing though, I cannot stop favoring it, cause it really hurts. So I've been limping around the office like a tard. I have been trying not to make owie noises when I accidentally bend my foot, but there's nothing I can do about the little moue of discomfort clinging to my face. It's cool though my coworkers all already think I'm weird.
Good Day Bilby Family

Teased

There is just nothing worse than getting a call from a realtor saying they're coming to show your house, so you hustle around in a dead panic to make sure everything is spotless, and then they never show up. In this case, it meant finishing raking out 11 tons of gravel across the driveway in record time.

Well, I'm sure there are worse things, but at the moment, considering it completely destroyed my plans for a nap I desperately needed, I can't think of them.

Disgruntled Baby Gets Tired of the Limelight.

Ma, Pa and the BABY.










Aunt Anna and Roy. Isn't it cute?








Aunt Livvy and Roy, proving that she is perfectly capable of holding a baby. [When she's sitting anyways!!]

Cutest Kitten Cats ALIVE!!!

I love my cats and all, but they're really quite dumb. They haven't yet learned that you are supposed to read books, not sit on them! One day, they'll get it right; then I will have the smartest kitten cats in all the world. They'll say cute things like:

"What are we doing today Brain"?
"The same thing we do everyday Pinkey. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!"

Assuming, of course, that Sebastian will become the smartest and in some lame attempt to prove it, change his name to Brain.

They haven't quite learned how to yet, but both my cats say HI!

Clumsy

Aunt Livvy can't hold a baby! Livvy can't hold a baby! Nyah nyah nyah.

- Roy

Do I look gay?

There's nothing gay about a man lying on top of another man is there? Even if he's trying to do a pushup?

What's shakin' bacon?

Is Aunt Lissa a geek or what? Whoever thought this would be a good substitute for actually, you know, visiting their fantastically gorgeous baby nephew obviously spends waay too much time in front of a computer.

Oh, and my mom says she'll talk about whatever damn thing she pleases and rant all she wants. So there!