Police are on the lookout for Alicia Salanick, formerly Alicia Bilby. She was last seen making a run for it with an armload of wedding presents, and has not been heard from nor seen since. Reached for comment, her sisters expressed bewilderment and confusion over the complete lack of word from Alicia since she returned from her honeymoon.
"It's like she forgot she has sisters," said Olivia, one of Alicia's abandoned sisters. "The twit hasn't even bothered posting a link to the wedding pictures she had taken. She gave it to dad, but couldn't be troubled to let us know."
"She was in such a rush to leave us all behind, she didn't even bother getting her wedding cake out of my freezer," said Celeste. "I'm thinking of feeding it to the cats. That'll show her!"
"Eh, who cares?" said Orianna. "If she isn't gonna take the time to even post on the blog she created so that we could all ostensibly keep in touch, she can just bite me. I've got my other sisters at least."
Alicia's sisters are requesting that you kick her in the shins if you actually get lucky enough to spot the elusive bride.
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9 comments:
Lissa who? Good use of ostensibly, your fictious report made me seem just as stuck up and pretentious as i actually am. Kudos!
Well since I didn't have an actual quote from you I could use, I had to make one up that fit my notion of what you would have said.... just like a New York Times or Harpers journalist! I could write for a paper, I'm just that damn good.
Hoo RAH!!! For lack of anything better to say.
I took pictures... but I was drunk enough that most of them were kind of blurry... and I'm sure you're not that interested in seeing the one good shot I have of you and mike kissing - with dad scratching his nose in the background.
And I see you utterly failed to respond to the other point I brought up - its bad luck to abandon your wedding cake.
And what makes you think any of us would actually order pictures? I know I'm probably too cheap for that, I just wanted to see them. ;) Weak excuse... you could have said "here's the link, but hold off on ordering, cos I already got you guys some."
LOL, well last I checked IM was 2 way (which, it should be noted is how Dad got the link to begin with -- he IM'd me and asked). Which is the only way anyone has gotten the link, by asking. And shall be the only way anyone gets the link going forward too! So, if you want to see them, you have to IM me!
And I will get the cake before you move, hopefully. There's a strong possibility I will come up for your birthday, but only if you're nice to me and stop harrassing me for not giving you a link to the pictures!
Also . . . we talked on the phone, not online.
Also.... you set up the blog so you wouldn't have to talk to us online any more. ;)
And it's too late on the cake! It was taking up my freezer space, and I needed a snack, so you're SOL.
... not really
Hoo-RAH!!! The pictures were lovely Lissa. I stuppose I could upload the one's from my camera, but I had to kill this horribly scary bug that was the size of both my thumbs put together, had thousands of long, creepy looking legs, and was silver, next to wall of my computer the other day. And when I killed it, it was all white and gooshy on the inside. I get the hee bee jeevies every time I think about it and I even had a nightmare about it once. It was awful. I've been hesitant to hook anything up to my computer ever since. But, Nick called me a baby about the whole thing, so maybe he will do it for me!!! We'll see.
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