Hanging out with Dad

Last night (Sunday), me and Anna went over to Dad's for dinner and a movie. We saw Miami Vice, which I thought was surprisingly good, despite the fact that there was absolutely no comedic relief what-so-ever throughout the entire movie - except for the scene where Jamie Foxx pretends to prematurely ejaculate during intercourse with his on screen whore, which occurred within the first 20 minutes of the movie. Miami Vice was stock full of drama and very soap operish. I really enjoyed it; I especially enjoyed me and Anna's out of place comments that forced us to cackle, no fewer than 4 times during the movie.

After the movie all three of us went to chipoltle, where me and Dad embarassed Anna by loudly commenting on the queer male with the rose tattoo, clearly visible on his neck, standing in front of us while we were waiting to order. Overall dinner was ok, but I was really annoyed by the loitering teenage males sitting accross from us, with there one female whore (which Dad felt the need to point out to us). But, to make up for it, at the end of dinner Dad declared that he was completely stuffed and then proceeded to chow down on a basket full of chips which he dipped into Anna's left over burrito. Thoroughly shocking, completely surprising and very funny all at the same time. Who ever would have guessed that dad would eat someone else's leftovers?

Although the entire evening was lots of fun, I think the funniest part of the night was before we even left for the movie, when out of the blue, Dad called Anna a "milk toast" because she starts to blubber and cry whenever anyone says anything mean to her! LOL. Anna's overt protesting and refusal to drop the subject in response to this little bit of fact that Dad threw out there, made the comment all that much funnier.

Fiasco

Yesterday was the longest I'd ever been away from Roy. My team had their big install for our launch yesterday, and the CTO got it into her head that the best way to make sure everyone had their full attention on it was to make all of us sit in one big room for the install. It was like one of those japanese dev sweatshops. Something like 30 people stuffed into a conference room with their laptops out.

The install went without a hitch, actually.... it was trying to get around being a breastfeeding mom while I was at the install that was a disaster.

The company has 'mother's rooms' for those of us who aren't trying to feed our babies with formula, and they're actually pretty nice. Curtained booths with comfy chairs, and they even have hospital grade pumps if you have your own accessories for them. The are not, however, set up for visiting employees, and since I was there for only the day, it was a complete mess.

The first time I tried to use the mother's room in CC3, it was no problem. Swung by the receptionist's desk, made sure there wasn't anyone who currently had the room reserved, went upstairs, slipped in and took care of business without a problem. However, two and a half hours later, I needed to go back, and when I returned, I encountered issues. It turns out the mother's rooms are supposed to be kept locked, and it was a fluke that I got in there without a key. So I had to go back to the receptionist's desk and ask for a key.

Problem one: the keys aren't kept with the receptionist, they're signed out permanently, and you have to go over to the fitness center at CC5 to get one. So I walked over to CC5 to see about getting a key. By this time I'd started to leak.

Problem two: the attendant obviously had never had to deal with breastfeeding before, because her first response was "Why don't you just use the locker room?" Well, that would be because I'm not too keen on hooking myself up to a contraption when anyone walking in can see what I'm doing. Breast-pumps are just kind of embarassing, not to mention that I wasn't looking forward to the idea of sitting on a hard bench for half an hour while I did the deed. So I refused, and she agreed to sign a key out to me.

Problem three: she didn't have any keys for CC3. So I asked for, and received a key for CC5. But when I went upstairs in CC5, the key didn't work. Couldn't get the door open, and by this time I was leaking badly, and pretty frustrated. So I went back downstairs, gave the inoperable key back to the attendant and told her to forget it, I'd just go find a huddle room or something. Trudged on back to CC3, and back to the conference room, and asked one of the other women who was working on the install if she knew of any huddle rooms nearby. Her suggestion was that I just use a bathroom stall - obviously, she'd never had to deal with pumping milk either. Like I was going to sit on a toilet with no seat back for half an hour while any woman walking in would get to hear the pump operating and wonder what the hell I was doing, not to mention that's not the most sanitary idea either. By this time I was pretty upset, and it was obvious, so she pointed me to a video editing room that wasn't in use behind the conference room we were staying in. I was leaking badly, humiliated, and nearly in tears, so I slipped into the editing room and tried to do my job. No real luck - wasn't comfortable, and was just so upset, I couldn't really pump.

So I gave up, went outside for a cigarette to calm down, and then said to hell with it and went back into the conference room, praying that install would finish soon enough that I could just go home and feed the baby properly.

Well my boss noticed I was upset, and he took me outside and found out what the problem was, and he handled it for me. Went to the receptionist, got facilities on the phone, and when that didn't work, got security and told them to get the mother's room unlocked. It took two tries, because the twits in security changed shifts, and didn't bother letting the new person on the shift know that I needed to have the room unlocked, but finally, two hours after I'd started looking for a way to get back into the room, they finally got it unlocked for me, and I was able to go in and relieve some of the pain I was in. Did I ever mention how painful engorgement is?

By the time I was done, the install was just about complete, and 15 minutes later we were released and I was able to get back to the truck and just go home. Exhausted, embarrassed, and missing my baby so bad, I was amazed I didn't just lose it in traffic on the way home.

But at least the install went off perfectly, and I wasn't going to have to repeat the process and go back up to Dulles today. And dad and baby did just fine without me, since I had a good supply stocked up in the freezer. I sure was grateful to get home though. Next time I have to go to Dulles, I'm going to make sure they have a key for the mother's room in the building I'll be in waiting for me at reception, and I'm going to refuse to go until they do.

Oh, and did I mention it had been so long since I had been on campus that my badge had expired, and I couldn't get through the front gate without a call to security? What a day.

FUN WITH LISSA AND MIKE IN FL!!!

We all had a fantastic time visiting with Lissa and Mike in Florida. Thanks for putting up with us you two!!!
These pictures are by popular request. ENJOY!!!

This better be the last picture!
Little did they know that it WASN'T!!!

Teaching Mommy A Lesson

Hey Girls.... You wouldn't believe the burn I put on mommy today. She had a really important end to end test demo that she had to do, and it was supposed to start at 11am, and kept on getting pushed back further and further. It was past 3pm before they finally got started. I found that really annoying, so to express my displeasure, I laid in wait and pretended to be napping until mommy was right in the middle of her presentation and then I started screaming.

Ain't I a stinker? I got her good!

You should have seen her scrambling, trying to calm me down and carry on with her dumb old presentation at the same time. I thought her head was going to spin completely around. It was hilarious.

Anyway, I know y'all were just dying to see another shot of me, so here's my latest pose for the camera, from our photo shoot last night. Does the camera just love me or what?

Creative Block!

Sooo. I've decided to write a collection of short stories. I'm at the idea stage right now. It's totally awesome and uhm...I'm awesome for coming up with such a fantastic idea for a collection of short stories; I'm not being self-complimenting either because I'm positive that if you guys knew what my idea was, you'd be complimenting me too. I mean I'm bound to win some kind of hoity-toity prize for my genius. Now all I must do is write the short stories. I've already got the lay-out of the first one done, so I just have to go and add meat to it now.

This is so exciting you guys. Writing is so much fun. But I won't bore you with the details of my phenomenal creative abilities. You'll just have to wait until I'm done to have a clue. Until then I guess! I know you all are shivering with anticipation.

Love,
Livvy

Another Restaurant Meal Lost

You know how I am... If I can make it at home, it's highly unlikely I'll order it when I go out, because I like mine better. I can't even order a steak from Outback any more, because it just doesn't do it for me. I'll normally get their ribs or something instead.

Well knock another menu item off the list of things I order. Last night Russ and I barbecued ribs and they were so good I was still drooling over them half an hour later. They were so yummy even though I was full to bursting, I just couldn't help picking at them for just one more little taste. Rubbed down with brown sugar and spices and then slow cooked on the grill, with a side of sweet potatoes and brocoli smothered in cheddar. Those ribs were fall off the bone tender and juicy. They defined 'finger lickin' good'. It was the best meal I've had in ages. And I had leftover ribs for lunch today as well.

So *thpppt* on your tuna melts. All hail the grill!

Toe Talk

Dear Toe,
I have a crush on this boy at school. He has a girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure that if I offered to give him head he would totally let me. Then with that under my belt I could begin to stalk him and blackmail him into breaking up with her. I was just wondering, what you thought I should wear.
Psycho

Dear Psycho,
I'm a toe. I'm not even a fully functioning toe. Can you not see how purple I am? Clearly there is something wrong with me. As clearly there is also something wrong with you. You don't trick him into letting you provide him oral pleasure. You trick him into saying that he loves you while you ride his man stick in the pool. Then you kill all the people he loves. Hollywood taught me that. In this scenario you wear nothing.
Toe

Can I Get A Witness?

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Russ and I decided to try out our new BabyBjorn carrier by taking Roy on a little walk down to Maureen's house? Well... if I didn't, you can just hear it again anyway.

We took our walk down to Maureen's without bothering to call ahead first to find out if she was home, and sure enough she wasn't. But Dave's car was in the driveway, so we rang the bell anyway, thinking we'd say 'hi'.

No answer. So we continued our walk.

That evening, Maureen called and left a message... seems she'd gotten home, and Dave had immediately started bitching about those damn Witnesses again, and how now they were even being so manipulative as to send out young couples with babies in tow! Maureen had a sneaking suspicion it might have been us, so she called to find out. Sure enough...

So I call her back, and while I'm on the phone with her, Dave is in the background asking "Did those Witnesses stop by their house too?" It took Maureen three tries to get it through to Dave that he hadn't ignored a visit from the Witnesses, he'd refused to answer the door for us.

Well the real Witnesses just stopped by the house to discuss whether or not the world today is in such crappy shape because God wants us to be miserable, and I am now the proud owner of a copy of "The Watchtower" and a copy of "Awake". I'm totally dragging Russ back to Maureen and Dave's to ask them, "If the end of times came tomorrow, would you be ready to meet your maker?"

Cocaine and hookers

So Radley Balko led me to Steven Colbert's "Better Know a District" series, several clips of which are posted on YouTube. These have got to be the funniest political interviews I've ever seen. I woke the baby up several times laughing....

Colbert's Better Know a District... so far I still think the interview with Wexler is still the funniest, just because there's nothing better than hearing a congressman say "I like cocaine because it's a fun thing to do."... But they're all worth watching.

Cheers!

I'm a GIMP

Hello Bilby Family,
I think I broke my toe this morning. I was getting dressed and I snagged the teeniest toe on my left foot against the bed post. I heard a distinct crack and had to sit down cause OWWW!! Right after I fell very dramatically to the floor (I'm an attention whore even when I'm alone) the dog comes over and steps on my foot. She hates me.

Anyway I decided it wasn't broken cause . . . I don't really want it to be. So I smashed it into a sneaker after trying on several pairs of heels and deciding with pained little moans that maybe they weren't the best choice. I figured (since I don't really want it to be broken) that it would stop hurting soon enough, provided I didn't favor it like a little baby. Here's the thing though, I cannot stop favoring it, cause it really hurts. So I've been limping around the office like a tard. I have been trying not to make owie noises when I accidentally bend my foot, but there's nothing I can do about the little moue of discomfort clinging to my face. It's cool though my coworkers all already think I'm weird.
Good Day Bilby Family

Teased

There is just nothing worse than getting a call from a realtor saying they're coming to show your house, so you hustle around in a dead panic to make sure everything is spotless, and then they never show up. In this case, it meant finishing raking out 11 tons of gravel across the driveway in record time.

Well, I'm sure there are worse things, but at the moment, considering it completely destroyed my plans for a nap I desperately needed, I can't think of them.

Disgruntled Baby Gets Tired of the Limelight.

Ma, Pa and the BABY.










Aunt Anna and Roy. Isn't it cute?








Aunt Livvy and Roy, proving that she is perfectly capable of holding a baby. [When she's sitting anyways!!]

Cutest Kitten Cats ALIVE!!!

I love my cats and all, but they're really quite dumb. They haven't yet learned that you are supposed to read books, not sit on them! One day, they'll get it right; then I will have the smartest kitten cats in all the world. They'll say cute things like:

"What are we doing today Brain"?
"The same thing we do everyday Pinkey. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!"

Assuming, of course, that Sebastian will become the smartest and in some lame attempt to prove it, change his name to Brain.

They haven't quite learned how to yet, but both my cats say HI!

Clumsy

Aunt Livvy can't hold a baby! Livvy can't hold a baby! Nyah nyah nyah.

- Roy

Do I look gay?

There's nothing gay about a man lying on top of another man is there? Even if he's trying to do a pushup?

What's shakin' bacon?

Is Aunt Lissa a geek or what? Whoever thought this would be a good substitute for actually, you know, visiting their fantastically gorgeous baby nephew obviously spends waay too much time in front of a computer.

Oh, and my mom says she'll talk about whatever damn thing she pleases and rant all she wants. So there!

long-winded editorial

You smell like egg! Rora says Hello!