My Roommate Must Wear a Wig

Just a quick little post. My roommate, we'll call her A for anonymity's sake, gave me some of her old hair products. She decided to go from brunette to blonde so she had all this "Brilliant Brunette" stuff left over. I've used this shampoo before and I liked it so I gladly accepted. I mean hey it saves me some dough right? Included in her castoffs was this "glosser". It's basically a temporary hair color that you smear on after you shampoo to give your color a little boost. It is supposed to be safe enough to use daily without damaging your hair. It made me break out in hives.

Yesterday I was sad to discover that my hairdryer, which has served me well for five years now, had died. It just would not turn on at all. This morning, I was in desperate need of a hairdryer, so I borrowed A's. As I was styling my hair this patch of nastiness magically appears on my head. I start thinking: "Is there poop in my hair? How did I not notice this earlier? What is that horrible smell?" I go to comb the mystery substance out of my hair (it seriously looked like poop, or melted caramel) and am horrified to discover that it's melted hair! That's right, I end up combing out a big chunk of my hair, that has been BURNED off my head by my roommate's nuclear powered hairdryer!

I mean seriously what the fuck? First her god damn hair shit gives me HIVES which has never happened to me before in my entire life. I mean I thought I was dying until I looked up my symptoms on the internet. Itching that much can be terrifying. AND THEN her fricking ridiculously-high-powered-covered-in-electrical-tape-cause-its-been-massacred-
by-her-bunny-radioactive-should-be-haz-matted-hairdryer just eats right through my beautiful hair!

I can still smell melted hair. Which brings me to my conclusion. Bitch is wearing a wig.