Big Bad Teeth Chronicles

So, I finally broke down and went to the Dentist this morning after an EIGHT year long hiatus. Disgusting, I know! But, in my defense, I am a consistent twice a day brusher! And I floss at least once a week. So, I never thought my teeth were in that bad shape. So, let this be a warning to those of you who do not go to the dentist for regular checkups: IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! It was just like the one and only episode of Dr. Katz that I remember. The one where he goes to the Dentist, and the Dentist says, "That's odd. Your gums are bleeding." And the dude goes, "They weren't bleeding when I came in here. I think you're doing that."

First, they wouldn't shut up about how dirty my teeth were. Which I didn't think was the case, but apparently I am not an expert on plaque build-up. Then they found like SIX cavities. This is very sad for me because I've only ever had ONE my entire life. So, that is like 1 cavity a year, almost. Soooo sad. Then they did this pressure test on my gums. The notion was that if my gums were healthy, they should not be too sensitive or start to bleed when prodded with a pick...Mine were a little too sensitive; they bled easily. But, they were not horribly sensitive...only just barely over the limit and mostly the sensitive areas were concentrated in the part of my mouth where the majority of the cavities were.

After all this torture, the Dentist tells me that he will not be giving me a standard cleaning today, because my gums need some therapy time. Or whatever that crap means! Basically I got robbed.

The hygenist came and prodded underneath my gums a little until they bled some more, under the pretense of cleaning away the bad germs that were making my gums so sensitive. Hysterical...I know. It hurt so bad, that she had to use a topical anasthetic to "take the edge off." Apparently this is not standard, because she started her "cleaning" without it. While she was scraping, she'd mutter small comments about how hard it is to remove plaque that has been allowed to build up for so long of a time. And then I'd here her increase the scraping pressure. It was horrible. She was also wearing this scary mask that you might see a scary man wearing if he was like welding metal. Except it was plastic. Totally intense.

This whole process was/is called "Soft Tissue Therapy." I will be engaging in it for the next 4 weeks. It includes (HAHA): brushing 3 times a day (not just 2), using mouth wash daily, and flossing daily; so completely different from the typical dentist recommendations...I know! It included a brand new Oral B Triumph electric, rechargeable toothbrush. This is where I got robbed. My bill was 288.00 AFTER insurance! It was close to 600.00 before. That included the 25.00 copay, the 100.00 new patient fee, and then I guess a 163.00 toothbrush?! I didn't think to ask ahead of time...:(. Silly me. I suppose I am not too dissappointed, because my teeth were in pretty bad shape. After all, SIX cavities is a lot. I'm terrified to think how much it will cost me to get them all filled. I guess I will find out on Thursday, when I go in for my consultation :(.

Stay tuned....